GIVE ME SHIIITTTTT!
by Golden Mist Fox
Summary: In the Konoha Annual Football Competition, Sasuke became the star and Naruto... as a cheerleader? What did our blonde ninja do to have the whole Konoha yelling at him? Kakashi is also chased by hunter nins! What the hell had happened? Read to find out!


Hello! I am Golden Mist Fox! Welcome to my fanfic!

GIMME SHIT!!!!!!!!!

X-x

Far far away in the land of ninja, exactly in a country named Konoha.......

"I told you, Ino pig! You have to be here in exactly two hours from now even you have to drag your big piggy ass!", shouted a pink haired girl inside of a changing room. Her head has successfully grown three times bigger than normal, scaring the shit of all occupants of the room. She was wearing a pink tight shirt that stop above her belly with a matching mini-skirt. She wore a pink high boots (It kind of freak people because all the pink.)

"cough cough, Forehead Brow, cough I told you thousand times already, cough cough. I have a deep fever so I couldn't come, cough cough!", yelled Ino weakly from the other side of the phone.

"Whatever Ino pig. If you don't come, I'll take Sasuke-kun as mine!!!!!", yelled Sakura, slamming the phone to the floor until it creaked to hundreds of pieces. Then she let out an evil laughter with both of her hands facing upwards(like clawing something ya know....)to the ceiling of course. Her eyes curved pervertedly, thinking all possible events with her beloved Sasuke-kun.

Needless to say, some of the poor people in that room made a mad dash out of the room while screaming 'Demon' all the while and some of the poorer people were pissing on their own pants.

X-x

"Welcome to Konoha's Annual football competition, Konoha people!", shouted Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime of Konoha. His smiling face was greeted by mocking boo and throwing things to the field.

"Just start it already!"

"We've been waiting here for 1 damn hour!!!!", shouted an enraged civillian from the mob.

Sarutobi sweatdropped and thought, _'What do I have to do now to keep this villagers to stop throwing things? Ino as the cheerleader's leader hasn't come yet for the football match! What should you do now Hiruzen Sarutobi!!!!!'_, raged the old Hokage. Inside his mind, a chibi Sandaime wailed loudly. Sometimes, the villagers can be scarier than paperworks....

He decided to jump into the center of the football arena and shouted,"Alright, stop it people!"

Everyone's head turned to the certain direction. The sandaime stood there with all of his glory beside all the killing glares that were directed to his direction. He closed his eyes and spoke calmly,"We have to be patient in a time like this." A small rock hit Sarutobi's head.

"Physical argument won't get it to anywhere.", another rock came.

"Maybe physical arguments is not so bad!!!!", shouted Sarutobi with a tick mark on his forehead. Suddenly a large cannon emitted from the ground and quickly grabbed by the waiting arms of the old avenger. He directed it to the certain direction of villagers seat.

"Take this, do not underestimate the The Great Sandaime of Konoha!!!", shouted him before numerous rocks flew off from the cannon and hit misfortune villagers on the head. Few of well trained shinobi were able to merely dodge the rock but the villagers of course were slammed backwards and in the process knocking their chairs down. Sandaime's evil laughter echoed in the arena while he watched his people slammed backwards in full enjoyment.

Suddenly, Sarutobi felt like he was hit by a truck full force on his side and a yell, "Knock it off, old man!" accompanied it. The unfortunate old Hokage soared into the air and landed abruptly to the ground causing great dust to flew off every direction. When the dust finally cleared, it revealed a half concious Sarutobi with anime swirly eyes.

Tsunade stood there still in a punching position. Her body radiated killing intent and she was breathing in rage. In less than a second Tsunade was holding the Sandaime by the scruff of his neck. She then yelled in front of his face, "What do you think you were doing?!? You didn't invite this spectators here to kill them!", and with that she flung Sarutobi again causing another great dust to fly off.

Tsunade turned sharply to the direction of the spectators,"Whoever don't behave here, I'll make sure that you would prefer getting torture with Ibiki in six months than 6 minutes with me!", she barked threateningly.

All of the spectators of course cowered in fear and nod vigorously.

Tsunade smiled slightly and thought, "Good, I'm sure that Kakashi will prepare an entertainment for this pathetic humans while we search for another cheerleader"_. 'I'll make sure that I would kill that pig as soon as we meet!!!'_

X-x

Meanwhile....

All of Rookie nine including their jounin and the three sand siblings were at the locker's room except Kakashi of course. They were discussing who was going to replace Ino's position. All of the girls have been in the team, boys... of course no one volunteer.

Suddenly a puff of smoke was heard at the corner of the room. Kakashi stood there with his smiling face, "Yo!".

"Do not 'yo' us when you're LATE!!!", Naruto and Sakura shouted while pointing an accusing finger towards the jounin.

Kakashi scratched his head nervously, "Look I have a good reason why I was late."

"Yeah sensei it better be a good reason.", whispered Sakura with single twitching eyebrow.

Kakashi gulped and said," I was late because there was this tree that stuck on a cat and I had to help a drowning fish.... Wait. That doesn't right."

"Of course it doesn't sound right! There was no way in hell a tree could be stuck on a cat!!! And how could a fish be drown in water, they live in there for goddamn sake!!", Naruto yelled, "Stop with the lame excusses!"

Kakashi laughed nervously and said, "Anyway, before we could find a proper replacement for Ino, we will try to entertain the spectators, for a while."

Shikamaru sighed and then said, "Troublesome, does it mean that we have to sing dance or doing something troublesome for them?"

"Yes! You better do!", smiled Kakashi cheerfully.

"Troublesome..."

Kiba has an annoyed expression and spoke rudely," So what exactly will we do."

Kakashi clapped his hands together, "Oh that was a good question!". Kiba shaked his head, "Do I even want to know?"

"First we will play the 'Icha Icha Lost in the Dessert' Gold Edition movie!", he shouted enthutiascally.

Everyone's jaw dropped to the ground, "No you wouldn't! You couldn't let under-age spectators to watch that kind of movie!", Kiba shouted.

"Well, let them take a peek of the bright and good future!", said Kakashi, showing them his upside down U smile.

Everyone dropped to the ground, unconcious while Gaara looked extremely confused.

"What movie?", Gaara asked .

X-x

"I apologize for our delay of the football competition. So to buy the time until we have finished our preparation, we would like to present you a brilliant movie!", shouted Sarutobi enthutiascally. He, in fact, didn't know what movie would Kakashi play but as long as it could keep the angry villagers away he will do anything.

The giant TV that usually displays the specific part of the football game was now playing the "forbidden" movie.

Of course, all the men in the stadium has a bleeding nose and drool coming out of their mouth.

X-x

By the end of the movie everyone(males) were clapping and shouting in their chair. Some of them were jumping up and down with tears flooding out of their eyes.

While the women desperately trying to cover their children's eyes from the 'forbidden' scene and glaring daggers at their husband, or the one that is still virgin, to their boyfriends.

At the end of the movie there were several names list belong to the one who helped to produce the movie. All the women leaned forward trying to memorize every name on it and if one day, they ran into one of the 'criminals' they promised to beat the hell outta of him/her.

The list is......................:

Author : Jiraiya The Sannin

Director : Kurosaki Ichigo

Writer : Kuchiki Rukia

Special Effect : Kuchiki Byakuya

Cleaner : Abarai Renji

Special Animal Scene : Hitsugaya Toushirou

Bomb Effect : Hinamori Momo

Weather and Sand Storm Effect : Gaara of The Sand  
(Sorry if you don't know Bleach. Several of the names were from that anime)

As soon as he read Gaara's name on it, Naruto went paled and turned his head into his sand friend, "Ga Gaara?!?! What the hell did you do to have your name on that execution list?!?".

Gaara looked at his friend questioningly while several women's eyes shot to his direction. Their eyes glowing eerily red with killer intent rouse from their body.

"Well, back in Suna, some men banging my door and then begging to me to help them prove 'Nudity is a gift' whatever it means. Because of my curiosity I followed them into a secluded area. And then inside a room with lots of cables and camera in it, they told me to move my sand back and forth in front of a car with a man and woman in it. They did a weird ritual in it while they kept saying "I love you baby" or "I love you honey". I wonder what it means though.", Gaara explained innocently.

Naruto has his jaw on the floor and his eyes bulged out, "You... You BAKA!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU FOLLOW A MOB OF MEN INTO A HIDDEN AREA WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT THEIR INTENTION IS!!!!!!"

Gaara cringed from the volume and rub the inside of his ear with his pinky, "I told you it was because of my curiosity."

"Then we just have to kill you so you wouldn't have to be curious ANYMORE!!!!!!!", shouted a woman's voice from behind. Everyone from the rookie nine turned their heads to the certain direction.

There stood impasively with flaring fire for their backgound were a mob of women glaring daggers at Gaara with their demon eyes. They cracked their knuckles and shouted loudly, "Prepare for your death!!!!". Then the mob starting to move forward towards Gaara direction in blinding speed while screaming curses all the while.

Gaara suddenly felt fear for his life, turned his tail and ran panickly towards the exit door, but unfortunately having his super heavy gourd didn't help him at all.

All of the audients stared in pity but couldn't do anything nonetheless.

Kankurou shaked Temari's shoulders vigorously while his teary gaze fixed at his little brother, "Te.. Temari, please stop them!"

"Do.. Don't be ridiculous! Any sane person wouldn't go into a raging storm like that!", Temari stuttered nervously.

Naruto reluctantly started walking to the locker's room, "For.... Forget it guys, there's no use, let's just use our time for something more important like the replacement for Ino..."

They slowly nodded and then followed him to the certain room.

X-x

The rookie nine with their sensei and the sand siblings were currently in the locker's room. They were sitting and have a thoughtful look on their faces. They winced whenever they heard an ear piercing scream that belong to none other than the Shukaku's vessel.

Sakura shaked her head with her hands and then yelled, "Ah!!! These whole shits make me sick!!!", then she continued, "Allright then!!!"

"Naruto!!!", Sakura shouted, in a split second had stood up and pointing an accusing finger towards the blonde idiot. Her eyes flared with fire, making her looks like a devil.

Naruto jumped from his seat with his hands pointing upwards in a give up posture. His whole body was as white as paper and he practically peeing in his own pants, "Ha... Hai?!?!?"

"You! Are the replacement for Ino!", she said, confidence and satisfaction were clear in her voice. There's no way the idiot would have the guts to reject her.

"Nani! I, Uzumaki Naruto, The Future Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato would never disgrace myself with something like being a cheerleader!!"

_'Wow, how impressive! Naruto has a wide range of vocabulary, never think of that before. However, I pity Naruto for rejecting the rock queen demand.'_, Kakashi thought.

"What?!?!? NARUTO!!! You will do as I say or I'll make sure you are not be able to make children ever!!!", Sakura yelled.

Sasuke scoffed and spoke, "Just do it dobe, or she will cause this whole building to fall by her shriek voice. Make sure you don't do anything ridiculous or I will do just as she has said."

"Kya Sasuke-kun!! You are so cool!!"

Naruto bammed his head against the hard floor and wailed," What have I done to be in this position?!?!"

Everyone sweatdropped and thought,_' She didn't even realize that Sasuke has mocked her.'_

X-x

_'Uh what the hell with this tight clothes?'_, Naruto thought anggrily, 'her' hands busily trying to pull the clothes to loosen its tightness. Currently, Naruto clad in pink tight shirt and 'her' tummy was uncovered. 'She' also wore mini pink skirt but slightly darker than the others, a mark of being the leader. 'She' has bright blonde hair that tied into two pigtails on each side of 'her' head. But Naruto didn't have the whisker-marks because Sakura told(yelled at) him that it was very ugly.

"Listen Naruto, all you have to do is to cheer Sasuke-kun and swing that pieces of rag in your hands. If you mess it up I swear I would tear that face apart! Am I understood?", Sakura threatened while pointing a finger to Naruto's face.

"Crystal clear ma'am!"

"Ok then we should tell the Hokage to start the match."

X-x

"Thank you Kami! For giving me this blonde haired angel!", wailed the Sandaime, hugging the blonde hair 'angel' in front of him like it held his life.

"Buh, old-jiji! I'm Naruto not some freakish angel!", spurted Naruto, 'her' skin was beginning to turn blue from the lack of oxygen.

"That doesn't matter, now off you go!", shouted the Hokage while dragging Naruto to the edge side of the building.

"He Hey old jiji, that's not the direction to the stairs!"

"Time to shine!", yelled the Sandaime as he flung Naruto.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Buh!!", shouted Naruto, falling face first to the ground.

Sakura sighed and jumped down gracefully.

The old Hokage coughed to get everyone's attention, " Ladies and Gentlemen! Now we would start the Konoha Annual Football Competition!"

The crowd shouted in joy and then settled down when The Old Hokage raised his hands.

"From the left of the stadium, Team Eagle!", shouted the Hokage.

A loud cheer came from the spectators of Eagle's fans.

"From the right of the stadium, Team hawk!"

A bigger cheer erupted from the stadium mainly from the Sasuke's fan girls.

The cheerleaders all went to their respective position all facing the two teams.

The referee( Hayate Gekkou ) stood impassively between the two glaring teams. In his hands placed securely the soccer ball.

"Allright, listen kiddies! Cough, you've got half an hour or thirty minutes to play, the match would be won by the team that's got the highest score. cough cough, ok the match begin! cough!", shouted Hayate and he quickly shunshined to the corner of the field.

The two teams roared and then practically started kicking the ball with such force till it bounced off to the sky.

The ball fell back due to the law of the gravity to the waiting Shino.

Once he caught the ball he started leading it to the enemy's goal. Sasuke, from the opposite team quickly chased him. He tried to kick the ball from Shino, but the bug boy merely leaned to side missed Sasuke by just a centimetre.

Sasuke, lost his balance, crashed to the front causing all Sasuke's fans screamed with anger.

Sasuke quickly got into his feet once more and tried to take the ball from Shino but once again missed.

Shino scoffed and then said, "You could never got this ball from me because you lack of experience, and you also lack....."

"Hatred? The will to kill?"

"Idiot! I'm not your brother!", Shino shouted and then kicked the ball hard and missed the goalkeeper, Chouji and a loud cheers of GOAL heard throughout the whole stadium.

X-x

"Come on, Sasuke-kun! You're the best! You're the best! Go Team Hawk!".

That's the loud yell of cheers of the cheerleaders.

And using the same phrases or words again and again.

It was driving Naruto insane.....

'_Fuck! What the hell is wrong with these bunch of girls?!? They're fucking said the same thing over and over again!!!!! Hwaghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I can't stand it anymore!!!!'_, thought the lone cheerleader that was sulking and slouching in front.

Sakura immeadiately saw this and yell, "Naruto!!! Stay focus and cheers for Sasuke-kun!! Look, He is leading the ball towards the goal!"

Sasuke is smirking and dodging the enemies, leading the ball towards his destination. He, of course, has activated the Sharingan.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke's cheating, _'Ok, now that bastard has proven himself to be a super bastard.'_ Then a light bulb appeared above Naruto's head, _'Ha! I got it! This is my biggest hit of pranks!!!!!'_. Naruto watched Sasuke's form with a mischievous smile, _'Let's see if you can stand this...'_

Naruto took a huge gulp of air and then shouted as loudly as he could, "GIVE ME S!!!!"

Sakura and the others stared at Naruto confusely. Is this a part of the manuscript? Sasuke ignored this and continued leading the ball.

"GIVE ME H!!!!"

Sasuke nearing the goal.

"GIVE ME I!!!!! GIVE ME T!!!!!"

Sasuke prepared to launch the ball. His feet got nearer and nearer and nearer.....

"**GIVE ME SHIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

The clock stopped moving. The birds stopped chirping. The river stopped flowing. The whole stadium was a silent only to be broken by the sound of Sasuke kicking his own face instead the ball and flung backwards....

The blonde 'girl' laughed and rolling on the ground, "Hahahahahaa!!!! I can't believe it!!!!! Haha, Sasuke.... Bastard... and Hahaha SHITTTT!!!!!!!!! You're fucking stupid! Goddamn, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Unfortunately for 'her', 'she' lost control of the henge and puffed back into Naruto....

"NAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUTTTTTTTOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", Yelled the whole people presenced in that stadium. All the girls were running to Naruto at full speed of a cheetah with their eyes glowing red.

The blonde jinchuriki paled and started running towards the exit like a madman followed by enraged girls.

Sasuke coughed and leaped to his feet then started chasing Naruto out of the stadium, "Naruto! I swore this is not a rival kind of thingy again. It's a war!!!!"

X-x

Sweat started to poured from Naruto's forehead. "Please!!! Forgive me I'm sorry!!!!!"

"NEVER!!!!!"

"WATCH AS I MAIM YOUR HEAD!"

"I'LL TEAR OUT YOUR ORGANS APART!"

"KILL HIM!"

And the list kept rolling and rolling...

Sakura caught Naruto by the scruff of his neck."AHAA!!!! GOT YOU!!!! YOU NEVER MOCKED SASUKE-KUN LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!! TAKE THIS!!!". Sakura's punch got nearer and nearer as Naruto closed his eyes tightly waiting for the impact.

"STOP!!!!"

Sakura immediately stopped her action as she recognized the voice.

Sasuke.

He glared at Naruto and said, "He's Mine..."

Naruto having been released by Sakura stared at Sasuke disgustingly, "Sorry, But I don't swing that way. I know you're a gay."

"Idiot! That's not what I mean! Now be prepare!!", he yelled and started forming handseals. Chidori was soon alive chirping in his hands.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and then formed a perfect Rasengan.

The two leaped to each other.

"RASENGAN!!!"

"CHIDORI!!!"

X-x

Kakashi was humming and skipping in the street happily. In his hands was the newest edition of Icha-Icha. Oh this day is wonderful.

Suddenly he heard two yells:

First: "RASENGAN!!!"

Second: "CHIDORI!!!"

That two words mean trouble.

He quickly dashed to his students, grabbed their wrists threw them behind him.

Unfortunately there were no barrels of water to stop them.

X-x

Kisame Hoshigaki, Kirigakure nukenin, one of the seven swordman of the mist, criminal level S in bingo book was twitching every second and then,"Itachi, are you sure this is necessary thing to do to catch Kyuubi?"

"Of course it is. Kyuubi is surely..... Ah! This one is very kawaii!!!", Itachi squealed while hugging a cat shaped Breadou(You know? Immitated chubby bread, but I made the one that shaped like a cat =_=).

Kisame twitched again.

Yes, they were currently inside a breadou shop. They were dressed as civilliants.

Itachi wore a simple black T shirt and pants. Kisame wore a blue T shirt and black pants.

"Look Kisame-chan! This one is a cute shark!", squealed Itachi. He shoved it in Kisame's arms.

Kisame eyes now have stars in them and shouted, "Wow this is very cute! I'll buy it", he dashed to the cashier. "Me too!" , Itachi leaped towards the cashier with the cat breadou.

The cashier shouted, "Hold on gentlemen! Please queue!"

Suddenly from the outside...

"RASENGAN!!!"

"CHIDORI!!!"

Then there's a whoosing sound heading towards them.

They gazed in horror as the two shining orbs heading towards them... nearer...nearer...

BOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!

The shop erupted into a massive explosion blowing dust everywhere.

X-x

Konoha News...

"Good morning citizens of Konoha! cough, For the past hour Konoha has been surrounded by dust storm which the scientists claimed from breadou .It's source is from a breadou shop. According to a civilliant, who was present at that spot, the main criminal is Kakashi who threw two massive jutsu at the Breadou shop! There are 3 people who died in that explosion, Kisame Hoshigaki, Itachi Uchiha, and Byakuya Kuchiki(the owner). Now several ANBU has been chasing Kakashi Hatake which is fleeing from Konoha!"

All houses from Konoha shouted, "KAKASHI!!!"

X-x

Kakashi panted and yelled, "Please It's not me who performed the jutsu! It's that baka citizen who witnessed it and gave the wrong details!!!"

The ANBU were hot in pursuit... ,"MATTEEEE!!!!!!!!"

"Just GIVE ME SHIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

X-x

Well? What do you think?

Please REVIEW!!!


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